I don't know if you all remember this one time- about two weeks ago where all my FB status' and instagram picture were of me being really frustrated that I was still pregnant?
ohhh... you recall that starting almost 4 weeks ago?! Yeah- okay so I didn't handle the end of pregnancy the most gracefully.
But luckily the Lord had grace for my impatience.
In fact- like always his timing for Shiloh's arrival was incredible.
Last summer we visited our family in Maine. And during that time Dan and I had a very hard conversation about planning our family- and decided to wait a few years to try to get pregnant again.
At the time Emmaus was not doing very well. She was seizing a lot and extremely behind developmentally- and falling further behind every day.
I have always wanted a big family and kids close together in age. So us deciding to wait, made me a very heart broken mama.
Then out of no where (despite the use of protection) we got pregnant the next month. I was shocked. I was afraid Dan would be mad- but of course he wasn't. He was just as excited as me. He is a good man like that.
I carried that sweet babe for 7 weeks and then miscarried. I was devastated. Not because of the miscarriage itself. I understand that miscarriages happen- but just the loss of hope. I felt that when I became pregnant unexpectedly it was the Lord saying "Laurisa- I know the desires of your heart, and I have given this baby to you as a gift" And then just like that- this hope, this gift was gone.
I knew Shiloh's birth would be redemptive. It would be a celebration of a healthy baby. A birth free from the fear of TS, the fear of the unknown that comes with knowing your baby has a major medical battle ahead of her.
Even the fact we had a girl was redemptive to me. Healing. I was so thankful that Emmaus would have a sister.
When I filled out the birth certificate for Shiloh. One of the questions was "date of last other outcome" meaning a miscarriage. So I started thinking that it was in August of last year- and probably that same week she was born. And sure enough when I looked it up- I started miscarrying on August 7.
Exactly a year before our sweet Shiloh arrived.
I love how God's faithfulness works in my life. How his timing is perfect. How he makes ALL things NEW.
Shiloh means Abundant Peace- Elizabeth Means "My God is bountiful, oath of God/ Fullness of God"
I think that is exactly right. This baby is such a blessing. The Lord is Good- he is bountiful and full.
Faithful. Redemptive. He has not forgotten the cry of my heart. The hard things, the burdens and pains, and he does make those things right.
The Blessing of a healthy little girl. And given to us 9 days late- but on a specific date- to remind me of the Lord's goodness.